


How Wash Met the Reds and the Blues and they Kicked Some Ass

by lesbianxiaoyu



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Red vs. Blue
Genre: Bad Writing Kids, First story, Multi, all the freelancers are alive cause i love them all and hate Pain, basically a weirdly written retelling of rvb in the dragon age universe, here yall fuckin go, i uploaded this on wattpad forever ago and forgot about it, so thats that on that, this is never getting finished cause i dont really like rvb anymore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 19:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8765803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianxiaoyu/pseuds/lesbianxiaoyu
Summary: A RVB Dragon Age AU that's just a retelling right now because I only have one chapter done.





	

Washington wasn’t ready when the sky opened up. No one was ready when the sky opened up. The Chantry was too busy on squabbling over Divne’s death and denouncing the so called Herald of Andraste. All of the Freelancers had different opinions on the Breach. Some of them were skeptical of the Herald, others full believers. But they all knew when she closed the Breach and an Arch demon appeared, that the Inquisition was a force worth supporting. They arranged a meeting with the Inquisitor and her advisers. Carolina was brought into the Inquisitor’s Inner Circle and the rest of the Freelancers acted as soldiers and scouts. Wash was stationed in a hot desert canyon with two holds right across from each other, occupied by two small teams of scouts, dead set on constantly fighting even though they’re both on the same side.

 

Washington made his way over to the hold draped in different shades of blue fabrics and banners. He stood outside momentarily, looking for any signs of life along the walls.

 

“Hello?” he called. His eyes scanned looking for any movement. Nothing.

 

“Hello!?” he yelled, cupping his hands around his mouth. No response again. Wash slumped and wondered into the hold. He looked around the rooms as he walked through, seeing if anyone had come out of one of them.

 

Suddenly an arrow whizzed past his head. Wash quickly reached for his staff and cast a barrier for himself.

 

“Who the hell are you and why are you in our base!? Are you Venitori!?” Washington looked around for the source of the yelling. His eyes landed on a dwarven girl, aiming a bow at him. He put his staff away and let the barrier fade away.

 

“I’m David Washington from the group of mercenaries called Freelancers. We were hired by the Inquisitor and I was assigned here to help defend both of these holds” he pulled out a folded letter and held it out to her “This letter should explain everything that I didn’t tell you.” she squinted at Wash, obviously not trusting him.

 

“How do I know you’re not Venitori?” her bow didn’t lower at all and she took a step back.

 

“Well for one I’m not from Tevinter-”

 

“That doesn’t prove anything!”

 

“-and two you should have gotten a letter telling you of my arrival” he finished taking out another letter “If you still don’t believe me just read this. It’s from Spymaster Leliana.”

 

She took a few cautious steps toward him and gently lowered her bow. The dwarf kept her eyes on him as she snatched the letter out of Washington’s hand. He watched her skim the letter, and she apparently thought it was legitimate, since she put her bow away.

 

“I’m not in charge here and the people who are are out.” she handed the letter back to him and he nodded.

 

“Out? Do you know when they’ll be back?” he asked, slipping the letter back into his pocket.

 

“Nope. They kinda leave me in the dark, but they better be back soon cause I’m not going to find them in this place. There are Venitori everywhere and rifts that are constantly spitting out demons. I’ll stay here, thank you very much.” she picked invisible lint off of her glove, and leaned against a wall.

 

“Is there anyone over at the other hold?” Wash was beyond tired and wished he could just find someone in charge as soon as possible.

 

“What, you mean over at Red Base? Yeah, there’s some old guy in charge but I think he’s the only one there. Him and his golem person thing I think.” she gestured in the direction of “Red Base” “That Golem doesn’t speak English though, not any language I’ve ever heard. Hope he doesn’t crush you.” she smiled after she said this, as if the idea of him getting crushed was funny.

 

“Okay.....What was your name again?” Wash at least tried to play it off like he already asked, but the girl seemed to take notice.

 

“You never asked my name. It’s Kaikaina Grif, but everyone here just calls me Sister.” Sister did a mock salute and turned away from Washington and walked back into the room she came out of when she shot at him.

 

“Let’s hope that the other hold is better than this one.” he turned back out toward the gate and made his way over to the other hold.

 

Wash could see from afar that the other hold, Red Base, was decorated similarly to the Blue Base but with red instead. He also sees the very obvious magic traps spread out over the field leading to the hold.

 

‘At least they’re better protected than Blue Base.’ Wash thought as he easily avoided all the traps laid out ‘Could do better with hiding the traps though.’ Almost immediately after he thought this he caught his foot on a small trip wire and a painting of a rouge on a wood cut out was right in his face.

 

‘Maybe they aren’t as clever as I thought.’ he walked a few more steps before stepping on a pressure plate under the sand and triggering another cut out with a different rouge on it.

 

‘Now this is just sad’ Wash thought after triggering two more with an elven warrior on it and another with an old mage.

 

“Who is running this place?” he mumbles. He then hears the close sound of magic crackling that he’s heard on the field far more than often. He quickly ducks prepared to attack the unknown mage, he turns to face an older mage in bright red, aiming his staff directly at him.

 

“You blues thought you could get the drop on me! Well I’m always prepared! Ready for every surprise attack you have planned.” the man waved a finger at him chuckling.

“You must be mistaken. I’m not on either side, I was sent by the Inquisitor to help both holds.” Wash spoke quickly and kept his eyes on the glowing end of the staff. He had taken a step away from the mage and put his hands up defensively.

 

“The Inquisitor! Well why didn’t you say so!” the old guy nearly shouted this, and Washington was sure it could have been heard from around the canyon. He stopped and glared at Wash, “How do I know you’re not tricking me? I saw you come out of Blue Base!” the end of the staff began to glow again and Wash eyed it nervously. He reached into his pocket and slowly handed him the letter. The mage grinned and pulled him into a one armed hug.

 

“Yeaaah......alright” he moved his hand off of his shoulder “Don’t do that again.” Washington took a step away from the man. “Where is the rest of your group, Mr.....?”

 

“Sarge” the mage responded

 

“Your last name is Sarge?”

 

“No, that’s my full name.”

 

“Right...Ok Sarge, where are the rest of your men?” Wash wondered if there was something in the water around here.

 

“They’re out looking for O’Malley.”

 

“Who’s O’Malley?”

 

“The spirit that possessed Doc. He’s been running a muck, nearly killed me and my men. Also some of those Blues, which is why I didn’t attack at first.”

 

“So Doc, your hold’s Spirit Healer, got possessed by a spirit named O’Malley, and everyone that’s not here......is out looking for him.”

 

“Right”

 

“Maker, what is wrong with this place.” he muttered to himself “Did you notice anything about the way Doc acted after he got possessed?”

 

“He started acting all strange and spoke in an __evil__  voice sometimes. He was dead set on taking over all of Thedas! So we had to try and stop him. But he ran away with the head of my golem Lopez! Oh poor Lopez, he’s probably being tortured by that maniac!” Sarge used a dramatic voice and used many hand gestures while he was talking.

 

‘Oh Andraste, I could’ve been assigned anywhere else. I guess there was a reason no one wanted to be posted here.’ Wash listened to the man ramble on about everything that happened, Donut being almost blown to bits, Tucker getting hit with a spell by O’Malley, Tex almost getting killed. Ok, that part was interesting.

 

“Wait, what do you mean? When was Tex here? None of us were assigned to either of these holds!”

 

“She was here when this all started! After she almost blew up Donut and Donut returned the favor and knocked her out with some explosive he threw at her. Hit her from almost half way across the canyon! What an arm.” Sarge briefly gazed at the sky seemingly reminiscing about their adventures, then his head snapped back to Washington and he resumed his retelling, “We were sure she was dead and she didn’t get back up for three days. That one Blue elf was freaking out half the time. Then it all started.”

 

“Is that when Doc became possessed?” he was actually interested, now that it involved one of his teammates.

 

“No! That’s when Caboose started acting up, the same way Doc is now.”

 

“So Caboose was also possessed by O’Malley....Is there anyone else who was effected by this spirit?”

 

“Yeah, there was me, Church, Simmons, Grif, and Donut. You already know about the other three.”

 

 “Ok, listen to me. I’m going to go look for the rest of your men and we’ll try and track down O’Malley. Are you able to send a letter back to Skyhold explaining what’s happening here?” Wash said firmly.

 

“No, we haven’t been in contact with the Inquisition since they all left to find O’Malley. Simmons usually took care of letters, and I haven’t gotten any orders from Skyhold in weeks!” he sounded sad at the fact that no orders had come, but Washington doubts there would have been any at all since it’s a shitty box canyon.

 

“Why don’t you just send them? You made a golem, how hard can sending out- you know what, never mind. Just stay here and protect your hold until I get back with the others.” Wash turned back toward the canyon’s entrance and was careful not to step on any of the various magic traps.

 

“Wait! You’re leaving me here to fight the Blues by myself?!” he shouted at him, even though they were only a few feet apart.

 

“There’s only one person over there and you’re on the same side!” Wash turned away to set out. Sarge kept yelling things at him as he continued to walk back out into the desert to look for all the other soldiers. Wash tuned out every word and started to think about which direction they could have gone.


End file.
